Mental-Load Conversation Worksheet

A calmer pattern

From invisible work to clear ownership.

Choose

Start with one real outcome.

Own

Name who has follow-through.

Revisit

Adjust when capacity changes.

Use this worksheet to make one area of invisible household work easier to see and discuss. It does not measure fairness, diagnose a relationship, or produce a score.

Before you begin

Use this only for a conversation that feels safe and voluntary. Work on one area. You may pause or pass. Do not use answers as evidence against a partner. A worksheet or app cannot resolve intimidation, coercive control, or abuse.

1. Choose one areaMeals, appointments, home care, money admin, social plans, caregiving, school, pets, transport, or another area

2. Make the work visibleWhat outcome are you trying to keep on track?What visible actions happen?What must be noticed?What options, information, preferences, or constraints matter?What decisions are made—and which need both partners?What must be remembered, checked, renewed, or communicated later?

3. Try one small experimentWhat would make this area easier to see or share?

Outcome for the trialCurrent owner through“Done” meansContext or access to transferDecisions to make togetherBackup if circumstances change

4. Review the system

What became clearer? What returned to one person’s memory? Was the outcome realistic for current capacity? Should you keep, adjust, swap, or stop the arrangement?

Notes for the review

Your answers remain in this page only. They are not saved, transmitted, or included when you leave or refresh.